Letter to Drea, the Egg to my Bacon, the Egg to my Wemmbu ♡
it doesn't feel like much time has passed ever since we met and so very quickly became friends, but then I check the date and realize the concept of time played its trick on me once again (like it tends to do). it's been a year and a half since you stumbled into my tiktok dms, accidentally sending me videos that you meant to send to your other account. stars, how'd it all even happen? at some point, we started yapping back and forth about aftg until you asked for my discord. I remember how you complained about how annoying typing was on your tablet. that was in, what? January, February 2025? It's funny, that was around the time I was being left by a particularly bad ex friend lol. thanks for listening to me going on and on about it, crashing out & losing it while he was spouting some⠀"do you hate me"⠀BS in my dms five days after lovebombing the shit out of me 😭😭 back to the topic at hand, back then, I adored your edits a lot and I thought you were really cool but was too avoidant to dm you, so I stuck to commenting until. BOOM. we were talking on discord every day.
it feels like fate.. (#fatedfriends) but what can I say? the universe heeds to my needs and wants and brought you to me! I truly am connected to the stars and all beyond. I am the luckiest dog angel-fawn fox thing EVER!!! and you should feel like the luckiest angel goat ghost ever ok? ok.. us
I was really paranoid at first, but I've gradually warmed up. did you know at one point I believed you were my ex trying to manipulate me and trick me to get revenge?? I swear I don't think that anymore but there was a time and I think it's really funny now, given how many times you sat with me as I ranted about him and everything that had happened. on that note, thankyou for always being there for me when I'm not avoiding my own emotions & open up to you, or have an episode like that one time with my therapist. (29/8 or the recent events of my ex and his friend harassing me.)
I think some of your friends are awful, from what you've told me here and there, and I'm sorry that they're like that. but hey! you've got me now and I'm here to stick around, no matter what. after all, I AM a parasite (the one and only) in your phone that you just have to deal with now. that's (un) fortunately your own fault!! bleh I've attached myself like a leech. nothing & nobody is ever gonna break the sacred bond that ties our souls together, okaayy? no getting rid of me! you signed up for life. this is VERY disorganized I did NOT think about how I was gonna do this I'm raw dogging ts
I'm avoidant. you don't know a lot about me, not even half of it, && I have yet to find the courage to tell you about every fucked up little thing that is wrong with me and the myriad of illnesses that plague me on a daily which are the ANNOYING and unfortunate cause of my chronically slow responses, yet you're so patient which almost brings me to tears every time when you dare send me a text saying take your time. please don't worry too much about doing something wrong, or overstepping! you've given me a choice I've rarely ever been given. you ask. and that's enough. I've always been met with force or a lack of care, so I appreciate what you do a lot even if I can't quite get myself to open up or when I downplay what has happened. you care enough to ask and that's more than enough for me. hey I'm listening to fall out boy rn. the phoenix.. my favorite fob song ever. haha can you tell I'm trying to brush past that? vulnerability is awful. at times I'm scared to stay with you cause I fear I'll only end up hurting you—or messing up, or doing anything that makes you sick of being around me. simultaneously, I'm scared you'll leave me after all the kindness you've shown me. I try hard to be present, I try hard to suppress my old mythomanic habits, I try hard not to block you every time I sit in my room and overthink every interaction and conversation I've ever had, but it still surfaces sometimes and I'm so scared. It's pathetic, to be honest. please ignore I wrote this, it's embarrassing. people are reading this. I'm not that pitiful.
I adore the little, "insignificant", things. the screenshots of drv3 (or any of my interests I talk to you about) popping up somewhere on your phone (which is still so funny to me. Drea they're watching us the feds are ONTO us 😭😭) or you watching my favorite movie (READ THE DESCRIPTION NEXT TIME YOU CLUTZ), or you just listening as I talk about one of my interests that you've got absolutely no clue about, or us sending those stupid kaomojis back & forth via tiktok greeting cards. I could spend hours upon hours talking to you if I hadn't been cursed with the worst ever social fatigue one has ever seen and sometimes I think that maybe I'd be annoying; sometimes when your notification pops up, I want to answer, but I fear that maybe it'd somehow be a bother. I'm glad you don't mind us talking with these mini gaps, or when I go and isolate for a couple of days.
thank you for the patience, care & everything. this is super cliche to say (I keep repeating this like a mantra or like a broken record I'm noticing), but I'd sacrifice the world a million times for you. you're one of the only people I would do literally anything and everything for.