i think i'm going to start this off with a preface of i am SO FUCKING SCARED .
im scared to write this , im scared to share my ffeelings , im scared to send this to you (if i even gain the balls to do so .... which i most likely wont) , and i am so SO scared of how you may react to my feelings .
as you can . literally already tell from the spoiler warning in my introduction ....,. i have a crush on you . i have for awhile now , but its mostly been off and on . i started liking you at the beggining of the school year (around middle of august i think ?)
you were (and still are .. why am i wording this in past tense??) genuinly one of the most gorgohs girls i had ever had the chance of becoming friends with. ever since our first conversation with the help of the tino(tm) bringing us together , i have enjoyed your company so fucking much . you are a genuine joy to have around , and i dont think ive ever had a moment where ive thought "wow this girl is so unfunny . boooooooo"
i still remember us meeting , lol ! i remember all the things you said , how easily we clicked together , and i think i still have a screenshot of our first convo ever haha
woowiwiww... taking me back
but. diana GOD you made me overthink this convo so fucking much
i had to send it to brooke with a thousand question marks asking her "do you think this means anything or am i overthinking it"
honestly , i may still be overthinking everything .. but im gonna shoot my shot anyways because we only live once amiright amiright haha.. am i mutted
theres been so many other times where ive reread things you have said in our convos thousands if not billions of times trying to figure out if anything you said meant . something
i think you know this already . IM DUMB AS SHIT . if someone tries to send me signals if they like me , i dont catch up on those signals
though CONTUINING ON WITH ME LIKING YOU .
remember back in like september when i kept asking you all those random questions ? "what your favorite color ?" or "whats your favorite candy?" stuff like that ? i think i even tried to play this off as just "trying to get to know you better"
spoiler alert .... it was not because of that reason
to be honest , i was planning in asking you out to homecoming with me . i had this biggg plan all layed out too ! i was even going to get mrs shoemakers help because i really REALLY wanted to go to homecoming with you
i bought this little basket (that i think i still have)
i also bought nerds gummy clusters , a cat plushie keychain , and stupid blue glitter glue
but the worst thing is , i even bought you a billie eilish album . the uhmmm happier than ever album .... i was planning on giving thag too you aswell
BUTTTT as you can already tell (since you didnt go to homecoming with anyone) i chickened out BIG TIME . i had this huge overwhelming feeling of "we dont even know eachother that well , she doesnt even like me back , so she defiently wont go to homecoming with me ."
so yeah . i never had the chance to ask you out to homecoming ... instead , on homecoming day , i moped around in my room , listening to the happier than ever album , eating those nerds gummy glusters , crying to myself all because i chickened out like a loser
looking back at it now , i really think i should have asked you out . i think its a little stupif that i didnt, BUT WHATEVER !!!! whats done is done , and now im over here making this whole website for you just so i can confess my undying love for you ... god thats corny AM I CORNY AND CHOPPED AM I A CHOPPED PIECE OF CORNY CHEESE ...
anyways .. after chickening out of going to homecoming with you , i still continued to yearn from the sidelines . everytime we talked in the morning , everytime we walked side by side while leaving lunch .. i was yearning for you
i reaaallly should have said something .. FUCCCKK WHY AM I STUPID WHEN I COMES TO LOVE OK JUST KILL ME NOW
unfortunatly .. i think around the middle of november , i fell out of love with you . my overthinking got the best of me , and i told myself that you would never love me back
and then ... my crush on you came back but stronger then ever before
around march , i realized i still loved you . and it was really fucking hard staying quiet about it because now we wouldnt stop calling eachother megumi and yuji KNOWING . we both ship itafushi to heaven and back
god , diana . how am i supposed to not fall back in love with you whenever you always refer to me as yuji ? maybe its just my pink hair , maybe MAYBE . but i dont fucking know
some small ounce in me hopes its because you might like me back
and in that cas e ... i really will be your yuji
i really really fucking want to be yiu yuji
i want to always be your yuji , i always want you to be my megumi ..
even though i may dye my hair different colors , i hope you will never stop seeing me as your yuji
i dont ever want to stop being your yuji .....
i never got to ask you to homecoming , but i do get to ask you an even more important question now
diana , my megumi , my sua , my geto , my everything ..
can i be your girlfriend ?
(as i ' m rereading this ..... i ' m realizing i accidently left out a LOT of events that correlate into yk ... me asking you out BUTBUT HT )
remember whenever kelsey randomly asked you if you liked anyone ..? yeah so ... THAT WAS ME </3
i was too much of a pussy to ask you myself so i had to call in a favor ..
ALSO . you defiently remember the last halloween party we had at my house .. so apparently with the info buzzy told me
APPARENTLY IT WAS OBVIOUS I LIKE YOU . i have a video of me n him talking after everyone left and he told me "yeah its so obvious that you like her . even loki noticed it"
yeah ok so like just end me now .
IS IT RLLY THAT OBVIOUS ?? idk . i ' m going crazy
theres been so many moments where ive had to reread your messages millions of times because my heart was like . "yo omg no way this is a freaking sign bro . bro this is a sign ."
ONE OF THESE MOMENTS . was when i was telling you that i broke up with my ex
HASHTAG WATDATMEAN . tweaks out