Introduce yourself.

Your name is ANDY.

Today is JULY 5TH, a date which would mark your annual BIRTHDAY. Not that you harbor any festivity over these kinds of events. You just like getting FREE STUFF (and MONEY, usually).

When you aren't contemplating about the meaning of your existence, you like to indulge in a handful of pastimes. You have a long-time passion towards DRAWING, a fondness for reading FANFICTION, along with a recurring hobby of trying to CODE WEBSITES. It's a futile endeavor you're ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS at. Seriously, you might just end up like KARKAT.

Wait, who?

...Back on track. You rarely play any GAMES these days — mostly due to your stacks of SCHOOLWORK — but when you do get the opportunity, you enjoy grinding at your RHYTHM GAMES.

Additionally, you possess a natural affinity for SUCKING ASS AT SPORTS. This disparity in your athletic prowess is compounded by your medical afflictions consisting of ASTHMA and ANEMIA, whom you have a love-hate relationship with.

You like to pester your friends, whether it be sending RANDOM MEMES or ASKING IF THERE'S ANY HOMEWORK TOMORROW. Your chumhandle is gutturalGunnery. You type in lowercase exclusively first and emphasize with Capitalized Words. however – should the universe Collapse – you will SCREAM AND FLAIL LIKE A MADMAN.

What will you do?