Vernid

I'm trying to understand what drew me here: the chance to have a trophy and show it off, or to feel like I'm part of a very specific subculture. Creating small pages on this Pastebin service with Markdown has become almost a hyperfocus in my mind, even though I don't do it very often. Furthermore, claiming Paths ("/example") on similar services has become an obsession, which luckily is fleeting. Now I have some URLs in my possession, and I'm thinking about what to do with them.

Different services work differently. Rentry, for example, only supports Markdown and editing the "Metadata" to style pages, while other places, like here at fluffle.cc, support CSS and HTML. I'll see what I can do...

Sometimes I think I didn't make the most of parts of my life, that I should have done certain things and avoided others. It's true I'm having a midlife crisis at only 20 years old, and maybe (most likely) things aren't even that bad, but I do feel a certain melancholy from time to time.

The end of the world hasn't arrived yet, much less mine. I can do things better from now on, but it will require a certain amount of effort, both physical and mental. There are times when I just want to cease to exist, as if I were never born, a little peace and carefree living, because it seems like nothing I want happens, or when something does happen, it's bad. I don't know what's coming, but I'll try to be prepared (lie, I'll just accept it as always). I'm somewhat detached, uninterested, and rather indifferent to certain aspects of my life – work, family, and health are things I barely care about, and I'll probably pay the price one day with remorse. Where does the motivation come from?

See you later, take care.

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